Nov. 29, 2007 - Help Recycle has joined News Jungle

Nov. 11, 2005 - Iraq vs. Vietnam Bush's True life Story!

Iraq vs. Vietnam

Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?

A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.

HAHAHA

Nov. 11, 2005 - "The Bushes and Clintons on a Train" How the Democrats Lost the Election!

The Bushes and Clintons on a Train

George and Laura Bush and Bill and Hillary Clinton are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station George and Laura each buy a ticket and watch as Bill and Hillary buy just one ticket. "How are the two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W, astonished at what he is seeing. "Watch and learn," answers Hillary.

They all board the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but Bill and Hillary cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand... The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea, so after the game they decide to try a similar plan on the return trip.

When they get to the station, they see the Clinton's at the window buying a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Clinton's see that the Bushes don't buy any ticket at all. "Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?" says Hillary. "Live and learn," answers Laura Bush.

When they board the train the Bushes cram themselves into a toilet and the Clintons cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train leaves the station, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to the Clinton's toilet, knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."

"And you're still trying to figure out how the Democrats lost that election."

Nov. 11, 2005 - 25 Things To Do BEFORE the Next Political Inauguration

25 Things To Do BEFORE the Next Political Inauguration:

1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.

2. Have coffee with your gay friends in a public place.

3. Cash a Social Security check.

4. See a doctor of your own choosing.

5. Spend quality time with your draft-age child/grandchild.

6. Visit Syria (or any foreign country, for that matter).

7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.

8. Hoard gasoline.

9. Borrow books from library before they're banned - constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Huckleberry Finn, etc.

10. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix...do it now.

11. Jam in all the stem cell research you can.

12. Stay out late before the curfews start.

13. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".

14. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.

15. Use the phrase "you can't do that - this is America".

16. Take a walk in Yosemite without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.

17. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.

18. Start your school day without being forced to pray.

19. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.

20. Learn French.

21. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.

22. Visit Florida before the "polar ice caps melt".

23. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.

24. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".

25. Visit Massachusetts "while it is still a state".

Nov. 11, 2005 - Funny jokes About France by famous People!

French Jokes - Funny Quotations About France

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." —General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." —Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." —Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." —Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." —P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." —John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." —Argus Hamilton

"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." —Dennis Miller

"I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac." —Dennis Miller

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people." —Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" —Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." —David Letterman

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? 
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

Nov. 11, 2005 - Recent Funnies on Jokes about France's Riot's

Viva La France-Bashing
 The rioting in France has provided new fodder for that favorite American pastime: France-bashing.

"This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That’s like a record." —Jay Leno

"Night after night after night of looting and burning cars, but don't worry, because the French government is working around the clock at finding a way to blame it on us." —David Letterman

"The immigrants, mainly North African Muslims, are upset that they're being shunned by French society. They feel alienated, scorned, looked down upon. Apparently, they're unaware this is a common situation known as Being French." —"Daily Show" correspondent Rob Corddry

"The Muslims, without realizing it, are living the French dream — the idea that anyone, no matter how poor, no matter where he's from, can be judged not by the content of his character, but by the incorrectness of his conjugation. ... It's refreshing to see a country erupt in a violent orgasm of hatred and know they can't pin this one on us." —Rob Corddry

"Things are so bad in France, they’re asking the Germans to come back." —Jay Leno

"The rioters are said to be upset because they are immigrants who have been treated poorly by the French. What? French people treating foreigners rudely? I can’t believe that — stop the presses." —Jay Leno

"It's now the 11th day of rioting in France. Today President Bush said, "Not to worry. The full use of FEMA is on the way." —David Letterman

"Every night people go out and go crazy all over France. Last night over 600 cars were set on fire, 600 cars! But the good news is that the rioters saved over 15% by switching to Geico." —David Letterman

French Army Jokes

Q: What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians, at the Pentagon?
A: "The Axis of Weasels."

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?  

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?  

A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?  

A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?  

A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

A. You can make soldiers out of toast.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?  

A. The Army.

Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!

Drop me a line if you got a new one!

Nov. 11, 2005 - John Kerry For President has its 1st Enemy George W Bush!

Lately John Kerry has been saying the US made a mistake invading Iraq, and many agree with him.  However his recent rpeorts say he never agreed to go into Iraq, while on public Record he voted for the War!  the Gun slinging has already begun in the political World.  We hope that we will be able to follow up more on this debate (Or Public Bashing of one another). 

Bush Versus Kerry

Round 1 Kerry Runs for President and is beaten by Bush!

Round 2 Kerry Bashes Bush for invading Iraq!

Round 3 Bush Points out speach given by Kerry supporting the President and calling for the Attack!

Round 4 Coming Soon!

Nov. 11, 2005 - A few New Jokes I heard on TV!

"Well, while all this is going on, all these indictments, President Bush has now ordered everyone in the White House to attend ethics classes. Woo, not a moment too soon on that one. Now, you thought FEMA was late? —Jay Leno

"President Bush has asked all the White House employees to take an ethics course. And Dick Cheney´s asked them all to take CPR. In fact, it´s not even a course, it´s a seminar, being held in Vegas, and Halliburton is picking up the tab." —Jay Leno

Below is another funny Article I read from about.com

ROVE CAUGHT CHEATING IN WHITE HOUSE ETHICS CLASS

Top Aide Seen Looking at Cheney’s Paper During Pop Quiz

Just days after President George W. Bush ordered the White House staff to take what was called a “refresher” course on ethics, his top aide Karl Rove was caught cheating during the first pop quiz given in the course, the White House confirmed today.

According to Marisa Clomens, the teacher who taught the refresher course, Mr. Rove was clearly seen craning his neck to copy answers off Vice President Dick Cheney’s paper during the pop quiz.

“Once I saw Mr. Rove looking at Vice President Cheney’s paper, I told him to put down his pencil and asked him to stay after class,” Ms. Clomens said. “I had him write ‘I will not leak the name of CIA officers’ one hundred times on the blackboard.”

For President Bush, who clearly had hoped to send the message that he was serious about cleaning up the ethical mess at the White House, the news that his top aide had cheated off the vice president’s paper during a pop quiz comes as a public relations setback.

“The president doesn’t understand why Karl would go and do something like this,” one source said on Sunday evening. “The pop quiz didn’t even count that much towards his final grade.”

But according to the same source, the cheating incident raises an even more perplexing question: “If you were trying to get a good grade in ethics, why would you copy off Cheney’s paper?”

Elsewhere, billboards showing the rapper 50 Cent holding a gun were taken down amid fears that the image might set off Robert Blake.